Friends,
You may have noticed that I've not posted anything to this site in several months. I've had such plans! I was going to post some wonderful images from Portugal in June - the tilework is amazing, the beaches gorgeous and the food! Ah, the food...
But sadly, very sadly, my family was faced with a terrible and unexpected loss. My dear father, Foon "Frank" Wong passed away on July 5 due to a stroke. I've been struggling with trying to resume this somewhat intermittent blog, but it seems that each time I went to write something, I came back to thinking about Dad. And the thought of writing anything until now has been too much to bear. However, it's now four months to the day that he passed and I think it's time to start moving on. In order to do so, I first wanted to share a little about my Dad.
Frank was an indulgent and kind father. He always urged us to study hard but to also get outside and play! While I think he didn't always understand the complexities of raising three American girls given his cultural background, we never doubted for a second that he cared for us deeply.
Dad was one of those amazing people who instinctively understood things on a physical level -- when we got a piano, he sat down for a few minutes plunking out notes to get the hang of the thing -- and then he started playing basic songs completely by ear. I saw him do the same with a mandolin (!) as well. He was a strong volleyball player (to his chagrin, I was not, but my two sisters mercifully took up the slack in that area) and he was a talented painter. One of my favorite memories is learning how to paint in a traditional Chinese style with my father -- there we were, both adults yet beginners with ink and brush struggling to paint bamboo stalks. Eventually, my father was able to create beautiful, delicately painted birds, carp and flowers. Somehow I never progressed past rocks.
Often, though, parents remain a mystery to their kids until someone, in this case my ex James, asked Dad about his time in the US Army. Ok, so I DID know Dad had been in the army, but I had no idea that he served for three terms spanning both WWII and the Korean War. I also had NO idea that Dad had earned a Bronze Star for valor! It turns out Dad was charged with laying communications cable in advance of the US troops, sometimes in very dangerous areas. He was armed but also carried a revolver - in case he was about to be captured, he was not to be taken alive. On one occasion he was caught in heavy gunfire between the Koreans and Chinese alone to fend for himself and also to guard the precious communications equipment he was carrying. A senior officer making small talk later asked my father about what he was charged with doing and my father eventually told him the story. The senior officer was so impressed that he immediately recommended him for a Bronze Star. (I am eternally grateful to James for having asked questions that never would've occurred to me.)
He spent several years in China in the US Army. One assignment was as a communications officer on General MacArthur's plane. Dad would joke he'd have breakfast in Canton, lunch in Shanghai and dinner in Beijing. I loved that image -- serving your country while eating your way around China.
In the end, Dad left us as he had always wanted - in good health, without experiencing too many of the quiet betrayals our bodies inevitably inflict upon us. He went quickly, as he had always hoped he would, after a great day of visiting with his best friend Jack, having a delicious dinner with Mom and a neighbor, and finally settling in to watch the July 4 fireworks on his beloved 42" flatscreen. I thankfully had a chance to talk with him that evening and found him in a great mood. Around midnight, however, he suffered a stroke and then fell into a deep sleep, finally passing around 8am the next morning after a good's night's rest, something I know he appreciated.
I'd like to share part of his obituary with you:
"Foon Ah (Frank) Wong died peacefully on July 5, at 86. He is survived by his wife Lucia and daughters Katarina, Daniela and Denise.
"Frank was extremely proud of his military service to this country. He arrived here at 16 from China and so loved his new homeland that he enlisted for 3 terms during WWII and the Korean War, earning a Bronze Star for valor in the latter. Despite this important achievement, he was an extremely modest man.
"In a houseful of boisterous and opinionated women, Frank presided in a quiet but good-humored way. He was a wonderful, caring and loving father and husband. He also cared deeply for his pets. His sudden death is a terrible loss to all who knew him."
While this obituary captures my father's quiet modesty and incredible bravery, it of course isn't a complete portrait of the entire man. I certainly cannot paint the complete picture either in a few words, so perhaps it will have to suffice it to say how much and how deeply my family and I miss Dad every day.
For now, I leave you with a couple of photos. The first is of my Dad and sister Denise on his last birthday. Once he crossed the 80-year-line, he gleefully called himself "an ancient one" - a term of worthy of great reverence in his culture. As you can see, his cake almost seemed to explode in response!
This last one is from a couple of Christmases ago. Dad was pretty much in his favorite spot -- glass in hand, Mom doting on him and Denise's dog Winston warming his lap. This is very much how I like to remember him.
Thanks for reading this.
KW
